


(we're) something good

by choicolatte



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2jae semi-canon compliant 'verse, M/M, jjp as best friends, relationship building/character dev. for both youngjae and jaebeom, stubborn boys in love but ends up in fluff :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:34:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21593137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choicolatte/pseuds/choicolatte
Summary: I want to see you, one day is not enough. I will only look just as we are.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB, Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 3
Kudos: 49





	(we're) something good

**Author's Note:**

> so, some things that went down this week:  
> 1) GOT7 WON A DAESANG AND MY HEART CANNOT BE ANY MORE FULL THAN THIS.  
> 2) it was my birthday the day before they won the daesang so you know what i wished for!!! :^)  
> 3) JJP seen to be much clingier after winning the daesang!!!! so i HAD to write something inspired by this - but also just make it 2jae, you know? lmao 
> 
> i hope yall don't antagonize me for including jjp but as friends in this fic, that's really how i interpret their dynamic and i'm just real trash for 2jae so this is me tryna feed myself and others on the same crumb eating h*es we are for 2jae, ok. thank u. 
> 
> ps. can we 2jae stans collectively agree that a headcanon we all share is jaebeom lovingly choosing "jae" as youngjae's petname??? pls???

No one else needed to know what it was like between the two of them. 

Jaebeom had been told one time too many to keep his tiny moments of private interactions with Youngjae on the downlow by their publicity team over the years. They never bothered to ask Youngjae assuming that the leader of the group would assert the kind of position he possessed over each and every member when necessary, so they felt rest assured that Jaebeom were to sit Youngjae down and discuss the miniscule issue at hand in order to have full compliance from both sides. 

He almost did. 

For one, Jaebeom did not see his so-called close-knit interactions with Youngjae in public as problematic, and in need of hiding in plain sight. And secondly, the way that their staff commented on his leadership in the group as if it was some sort of power play over his members rubbed him the wrong way, but he knew it was not worth the energy to argue over semantics. 

Granted, Jaebeom did feel a slight churn in the pit of his stomach once being informed about his excessive skinship with the younger — were they sensing something else other than fan service from the way they held each other’s stare for longer than two seconds at most? Were Jaebeom’s attempts to appease the fans during fansigns buy purposely leaning towards Youngjae whenever there was a chance to do so seemed too _realistic_ for the watchful eyes of their management team that they had to warn him to back off? 

Jaebeom suppressed such worries from his mind as to deter any concern from other members, let alone Youngjae. Of course, right after one of the publicists set him aside to discuss the issue, they were scheduled for a fansign in an hour. The line up for their assigned seats were already decided upon, and lo and behold Jaebeom and Youngjae were placed at either ends of the seemingly endless table provided for them at the venue. 

“Jaebeom hyung, do you feel sick?” 

The fansign was just about to wrap up, and so the members started doing their usual routine of walking across the raised platform, interacting with the fans in small talk and informal photoshoots. It was a rather quick event — or at least Jaebeom reeled his mind to think it was. 

He kept himself focused on each person who greeted him with cheerful smiles and nervous gratitude. His eyes would dart over to his left where all of the other members sat, but they refused to wander too far to see how Youngjae was doing.

Jaebeom would hear Youngjae bring the microphone up to his lips and say a quick remark or two to the audience or to a member who was loudly teasing another, but Jaebeom didn’t have it in him to participate. He didn’t think that the words of their staff would puncture his behavior so deeply in a short amount of time. 

He was always critical of the rules and decisions their management made for him, and the group in general. Jaebeom’s first priority is always each member’s satisfaction and comfort, no matter what the question was in hand. Sometimes, if he were the one being inconvenienced, as long as every member were more than okay with the deal — then he’d ended up agreeing, too. 

However, in this case, Jaebeom and Youngjae were the only two concerned in the issue — one of which was not even informed about it in the first place. Jaebeom did not know how to process this himself, and in turn, he seemed to be giving into what they actually wanted him to do.

He felt sick to the stomach. 

“Hyung, is everything okay?” This time, Youngjae’s voice turned into a whisper — directly aiming his worries towards Jaebeom. His microphone had left the presence of his lips, now concealed with his other hand and brought back down on the table as to not pick up any sound coming from Youngjae’s voice. 

Jaebeom blinked, slightly taken aback at how much he had lost himself in his own meddling thoughts once more — at a public meet and greet with fans, at that. 

Throughout the years as an idol, he had learned how to completely separate his personal space and his time as an entertainer — it made it easier for him to interact more freely with the fans that supported them with genuine hearts. If Jaebeom were to collide his introvertedness with the image that the fans know him as, they probably wouldn’t like him as much as they did. (This is what bothered him every night.) 

However, being told about how “touchy” he had become with Youngjae— Jaebeom is caught between questioning the once healthy divide of his own expression of intimacy, and showcasing the layer he had curated that satisfied the public’s expectations of him. 

“I’m good, Jae. Don’t worry about me,” Jaebeom answered him in hushed tones, giving the younger a tight lipped smile with his eyes never reaching Youngjae’s concerned expression. It hurt not to look at him — it hurt even more to ignore his obvious appeal to Jaebeom’s nonchalance, as just one week ago they were carelessly giving each other one handed hugs, and shared laughs over the dumbest things but both found endearing nonetheless. 

If Jaebeom were to pick someone in the group that he _knew_ like the back of his hand, (every location of the lines and crevices combined) it would be the very person he is shunning away from at that moment. 

And Jaebeom knew this was one of the very things Youngjae did _not_ like. 

As if on cue, Youngjae frowned instantly but he had to remind himself that this was not the time to whine for Jaebeom’s attention. 

Jaebeom almost wished Youngjae kept pestering him, it would have been the highlight of an already shitty day. 

Youngjae walked away from where Jaebeom was sitting, and the older found himself lifting his arm up to reach out to his passing figure. It didn’t occur to him that some of the fans were there to specifically snap pictures of his _every_ move, so he had to think fast to divert the attention of wary eyes. 

“Jinyoung-ah,” Jaebeom called out instead, arm still hanging above the table, his hands motioning for the unfazed man to come nearer. 

“What does this old man want?” Jinyoung commented against the mic, earning a few giggles from the crowd as well as smirks from other members. Jaebeom glanced at Youngjae’s back for a split second, only for his vision to be blurred by Jinyoung. 

“What’s up?” Jinyoung kept talking into his microphone, not exactly sure what Jaebeom was up to by calling him but nevertheless decided to keep their conversation loud for fans to eavesdrop in. 

“Well, I — uh, how are you?” Jaebeom stuttered almost too loudly, knowing the stupidity of his question but not exactly figuring out what else to say. He prayed that Jinyoung _found_ out the mistake he had made, but Jinyoung only raised an eyebrow at him and scoffed playfully.

“Wow, I called you old but it was in a joking manner. I didn’t know you actually had symptoms of aging, Jaebeom hyung.” Jinyoung turned to the fans to roll his eyes teasingly which they returned with much enthusiasm and more clicking of their cameras. 

Jaebeom sighed, a small smile fighting its way on his face. He should be irritated, but Jinyoung always managed to turn the mood around and make things feel a little bit lighter tentatively. 

Jaebeom knew this since Jinyoung walked around the table to stand right next to his sitting figure. He placed a heavy yet reassuring hand on Jaebeom’s tense shoulder, a subtle sign understood between the two. 

_Something’s wrong, I can feel it but I know it can’t be discussed right now._

Jaebeom looked up, searching for Jinyoung’s eyes in confirmation. A slight nod from the younger indicated that the two of them were to have a little chat right after the fanmeet. 

_I can always count on you, Jinyoung._

The fanmeet ended before Jaebeom could muster up the energy to approach Youngjae and make sure they were finishing up the day’s schedule in good terms — as they usually do. However, the younger had already zoomed his way into one of the company vans that were provided for them, and the other members had snatched a seat for themselves as well. This left Jaebeom even more dumbfounded — how could he apologize for acting cold hearted without telling him what he was warned _not_ to do at the same time? 

“Jaebeom, are you coming down with something?” A similar question, but not the same person Jaebeom wanted to hear those words from. Mark had his upper torso turned towards Jaebeom in the back seat, an inquisitive look on his face but a worried tone laced in his question. He was quick to shake his head, passively mentioning about the normal exhaustion they all felt after a long day of promotions. Mark seemed to buy his excuse, settling in the passenger seat while occupying his attention on his phone. 

They were done for the day, and the driver was instructed to drop them off at their respective streets. After half an hour of undisturbed silence, Mark had left the car after saying his short goodbyes to Jaebeom and Jinyoung. It wouldn’t be long until they’d see each other again — in eight hours, that is. 

“I’m going to drop off Jaebeom-ssi next,” the driver informed the other two out loud. Before Jaebeom can respond his thanks, Jinyoung intervened. “Can you actually just drive straight to my place, sir? Jaebeom hyung and I are going to have dinner together.” 

“No problem, Jinyoung-ssi.” And with that, they were off to Jinyoung’s apartment. 

“I didn’t think you’d want to talk right after the meet,” Jaebeom commented, taking off his shoes and following Jinyoung to the living room of his small yet modest living space. The boys had only been here a couple of times as they never really got long enough days off to visit each other’s new apartments ever since moving out of the dorms. Everyone was too exhausted from schedules that they just collectively wanted to lie within the comfort of their own beds and doze off.

“I assumed you were bothered by something that would be best to talk about in person,” Jinyoung surmised, stretching his arms as a yawn escaped his lips. “I’m really beat, though, so don’t expect me to be my full potential with great advice and wisdom right now.” 

“I just need someone to listen, Jinyoung. You’re fine as you are,” Jaebeom chastised, plopping himself on the couch. 

“So, what are you upset about Youngjae this time?”

Jinyoung went straight to the point, but Jaebeom’s agape mouth and widened eyes did not expect the younger to figure it out so easily. 

“I saw him walk away _dejectedly_ from you, hyung. Youngjae never does that when he talks to you in public,” Jinyoung observed, arms crossed against his chest. 

“I’m not upset with him. I think it’s the other way around,” Jaebeom sighed, reliving the moment of Youngjae’s back turned against the older and Jaebeom not having the strength to fix it right there and then. 

“How so? You guys were just yourselves yesterday.”

“I guess… I think that’s the problem.”

“What is?”

“That we’re being a little too _much_ ourselves,” Jaebeom admitted, running a hand through his sweaty onyx waves as the thought of restricting affection from Youngjae flinch something in the center of his chest. He knew it was a bad idea to expose such vulnerable emotions at a time where he, himself, has not made sense of what he’s feeling completely. He rarely did that, anymore — Jaebeom learned to internalize the issue, as unhealthy as that sounded, but it was mainly to protect the members from any misinterpretation on his part. He wanted to think of the solution, and convince himself he has it all under control. 

But anything related to Youngjae, it did not seem like he has things all settled. 

“Staff talked to me earlier today, something about keeping my interactions with Jae minimum at best,” Jaebeom relented, a shaky breath escaping his lips. He didn’t dare look up at Jinyoung while professing something as fragile as his relationship with Youngjae was at the moment. “It literally happened right before the fan meeting, so I hadn’t had time to process it—”

“Meaning Youngjae doesn’t know?” 

“He doesn’t.”

“Are you sure the staff didn’t talk to him beforehand?”

“I’m sure,” Jaebeom confirmed, teeth gritted with the memory of the backhanded compliment he was given about his being the leader. “I don’t think Jae would have understood, or worse, he could’ve taken it the wrong way. I’m— I don’t think Kyunghee meant it the way that Youngjae would have thought of it.” 

“What do you mean by that?”

Jaebeom is caught off guard with Jinyoung’s pressing question. As much as he feels entrusted by Jinyoung and the safe space his apartment comforted him with, Jaebeom and Youngjae had both decided not to really tell any of the members about what was going on between the two of them. In reality, even Jaebeom didn’t actually know what the hell they were supposed to be behind an audience, their staff, or even their most trusted friends. 

Jaebeom felt that he was betraying Jinyoung in his very own personal space by cutting him out of this part of his life that was shared with someone they were _both_ close to. Didn’t Jinyoung have the right to know? Would he be betraying Youngjae’s trust, then, if he were to spill _everything_ at that moment?” 

“I think Youngjae is just confused,” Jinyoung ignored his own question while Jaebeom found it difficult to reconcile what his heart kept pounding so fast, and his mind reeled him to restrain impulsive decisions. “I would be too if I were just acting normally one day, and suddenly like a brick wall the next,” Jinyoung continued, sitting himself at the lone couch adjacent to Jaebeom. 

Jinyoung was right, and Jaebeom continued to wonder how much the younger had already guessed of his internal turmoil while watching his own unsteady figure on the couch. Jaebeom felt a sense of relief wash over his overly anxious heart as Jinyoung provided him with the right words he subconsciously needed to hear. 

“I personally don’t think it’s best for you to just stop talking to Youngjae altogether,” Jinyoung voiced out, eyebrows furrowed in disapproval with his own statement. “That might cause even more talk among the fans than anything else.” 

“I know that, but how can I possibly talk to Youngjae while we’re out without being consciously aware of the fact that staff does not want me to, uh, cross any lines with him?” Jaebeom wanted to choose his words more carefully, but he didn’t like being so formal with Jinyoung. 

“You’re not crossing any lines, hyung.” 

“The staff seems to have a different opinion on that.”

“Yeah, well they’re stupid,” Jinyoung grunted, pinching the bridge of his nose for a feeling of comfort. Jaebeom stifled a laugh at his friend’s childish comment, but Jinyoung only defended himself, “I told you I’m not at my best today. Don’t laugh at me for something I warned you about, hyung.”

“I’m not. I actually agree one hundred percent,” Jaebeom waved a hand dismissively. “I just hate the fact that it’s stuck in my mind, and I’m not sure how to let this one subside. It makes me think that I’m doing something wrong again.”

“Talk to Youngjae, I’ll handle the rest.” 

With an ominous response from the younger, Jaebeom asked in confusion: “What do you mean by ‘the rest?’” 

“I told you,” Jinyoung said, his back leaning against the couch. His eyes glinted with that of something only he was familiar with himself, and this is why Jaebeom can safely say that Jinyoung remains an enigma of his own. “I’ll take care of the rest, I just advise that you be honest with Youngjae about this. Or else the other members will notice.”

Jaebeom hadn’t thought that far ahead yet, but Jinyoung providing such a clue made Jaebeom nervous about certain repercussions that would arise if he were to continue keeping the conversation he had with the staff a secret from Youngjae. He wouldn’t last being cold and passive towards the very person he wanted to relay most of his affection to — it’d only break him, and might even cause an unforgivable rift between them. 

“You think I should go right now?” Was Jaebeom’s only question, and with a simple but solid nod from Jinyoung he already knew the answer straight away. 

* * *

Jaebeom left the convenience store a few blocks away from Youngjae’s apartment unit with a tiny plastic bag in one hand and his phone to his ear on the other. He wasn’t sure if Youngjae had his siblings visiting his apartment this week, so he needed to confirm by calling him first. Jaebeom continued to walk, his hoodie sitting atop his head and a black mask encompassing his visage. The number kept ringing, and Jaebeom had a slight panic attack thinking that Youngjae was purposely ignoring his call. 

One final ring, and Jaebeom was ready to turn his heel and return to his own apartment — regretting his decision a thousand fold. 

But it finally picked up. 

Jaebeom only heard a slight shuffle on the other end but Youngjae did not greet him whatsoever. 

“Do you have guests over, Jae?” Jaebeom just wanted get straight into it. 

“No, I don’t.” 

“Do you mind if I come over for a little bit?” 

“You’re already walking on my street, aren’t you?” Youngjae asked knowingly, and Jaebeom had to stop in his tracks as he tried to intently hear the sounds from Youngjae’s background noise. The shuffling he had noticed seconds ago was Youngjae’s footsteps on cold pavement, and before he could confirm his guess a certain bark reverberated through his speaker, as well as from behind him. 

“Jaebeom hyung,” Youngjae recognized him, stopping just a few feet away with his dog, Coco, sniffing the nearby lamp post. 

“Jae, hi,” Jaebeom breathed out, not prepared to see the man in question walking his dog in the middle of the night when he had rehearsals at one in the morning the next day. He ended the call, slipping his phone inside the depths of his sweatpant's pocket.

Coco stopped in her tracks and started sniffing in the direction that Jaebeom was planted. Her leash tugged around her neck as she made a beeline towards the older, Youngjae sighing before releasing his grasp. 

Not caring about his allergies (his mask was still on, anyway), Jaebeom crouched down as Coco immediately stuck her face inside the plastic bag he was holding. Jaebeom, in full realization, chuckled out loud seeing that the dog was only interested in the treats he had bought for her. 

“Typical Coco. Going in for the food,” Jaebeom commented, petting the tiny maltese’s head before reaching inside the bag to tear open the treats. 

“Wait until we go inside the apartment, hyung,” Youngjae interrupted, grabbing ahold of Coco in his arms before walking right past Jaebeom, an eerie feeling of detachment wading through the air between them. Jaebeom felt rejected, somehow, but kept his hopes up as he followed suit. 

Out of all of the members, Jaebeom had been the only one who has come over Youngjae’s apartment more times he can count on one hand. 

He was there when Youngjae was picking between this one and another apartment closer to Jaebeom’s. He almost unconsciously wanted to encourage the younger to choose the latter, not really providing concrete reasons as to why that would have made a better choice other than being close to his own living space. Youngjae ended up choosing this for it was cheaper, and actually allowed pets in the household. 

Either way, Jaebeom was there when Youngjae was moving the last of his things out of their shared bedroom. He was there when Youngjae ordered a bunch of new home stuff that came in one delivery outside his doorstep that he almost couldn’t see from the outside anymore. Jaebeom was there when Youngjae was drunk on a Saturday night, confessing how much he had missed being in one house with everyone else — and how much he had longed for Jaebeom’s arms wrapped around him snugly every night as they synced their breaths together before falling asleep.

Jaebeom instinctively pressed the passcode for Youngjae’s apartment. 3333 was too obvious, he had once scolded the younger lightly, but Youngjae only pressed on a guilty grin as Jaebeom suggested a unique yet familiar set of numbers for him. 1601. 

“After you, Jae,” Jaebeom said, opening the door for Youngjae and an excited Coco as she is placed back on the floor. Jaebeom locked the door in his wake, taking off his mask. He took in the familiar scent of Youngjae’s apartment, it smelled just like him when they were still in the dorm.

He loved waking up to Youngjae with his legs sprawled over his, and his face inches close enough to bump his nose.

Sometimes, Jaebeom would do it on purpose, at first afraid it would startle the sleeping Choi in a daze. But after a while, Youngjae would suppress a shy smile in the morning whenever Jaebeom would lightly press his nose against the other, nuzzling them side by side before Youngjae couldn’t help a giggle escaping his lips. 

The scent of Youngjae filling his senses in the morning woke Jaebeom up almost immediately, and the smell of the apartment gave him similar feelings of their bodies together in one bed. 

Jaebeom gulped, knowing full well that his mind had wandered elsewhere by just being in close proximity to anything Youngjae related. 

Maybe this is what his staff was noticing. 

“What did you and Jinyoung have for dinner?” Youngjae asked abruptly, his figure stopping by the fridge to grab two cans of ice cold beer. “Would like you something to drink?” he added, grabbing the can in hand as he waved it over to Jaebeom. 

Shaking his head, Jaebeom politely declined while addressing, “How’d you know I was at Jinyoung’s place?” 

“He told me,” Youngjae dismissed a little too quick for Jaebeom liking. Jinyoung wouldn’t just _tell_ Youngjae that he was at his apartment, especially when discussing something important.

He knew Jinyoung _that_ much, so Jaebeom assumed that Youngjae had asked Jinyoung beforehand about his whereabouts, knowing that they were not able to say goodbye to each other before going into their respective rides. 

But Jaebeom didn’t press on, he didn’t want to add another layer of frustration that Youngjae had probably already built up due to his lack of communication throughout the day.

“Jinyoung and I didn’t have dinner, though,” Jaebeom started, gulping at his words. Youngjae emerged from the kitchen with one open beer can as he tilted his head.

His face showed no evidence of major concern just yet, and Jaebeom believed this is just Youngjae trying to make himself out to be the bigger person in the conversation. “Oh? Did you want some food, then? Ramyun?”

“I’m really alright, Jae. I don’t have an appetite.” And it was true, but Jaebeom soon regret saying something regarding his food consumption as that usually meant that something _was_ wrong — and it was only a matter of time until Youngjae broke out of his cold spell, and gave into his worries for his hyung. 

“Okay.” 

Jaebeom’s stomach flipped — and not the good kind. _Okay?_ That’s all Youngjae had to say? 

Jaebeom had to remind himself that it wasn’t in Youngjae’s favor if he were to act normally concerned for him — after all, Jaebeom was the one giving him the cold shoulder and it was the very reason why he needed to confront him before the day ended.

He couldn’t take any more of _this_ if it were to last until tomorrow, and possibly, for a while. 

“Look, Jae. About earlier, at the fan meet —” Jaebeom was interrupted by Coco jumping on his lap all of a sudden and continue sniffing the bag he had clumsily tossed on the space next to him.

“Sorry, Jae. I bought Coco some of her favorite treats. Mind if I give some of it right now?” Jaebeom asked sheepishly. Youngjae sat down on the very end of the couch as he sipped his beer and nodded his head for approval.

For a minute or two, Jaebeom focused his attention on the maltese puppy and her tail wagging furiously in glee.

Jaebeom remembered the day Youngjae adopted the puppy — he was, of course, there to check the shelter out and make sure Youngjae had filled out the correct forms and got all the information he needed in order to raise her right.

All the others just wanted to meet Coco and didn’t really want to spend a couple of hours just waiting around — Jaebeom was different.

Youngjae had always regarded Jaebeom as different. 

Jaebeom ran his hand with a gentle caress along Coco’s fur as the puppy munches away on the treats. Once she was done, Coco immediately hopped off of the couch and catches one of the toys lying on the floor. 

“I got you something too, Jae,” Jaebeom shifted his eyes towards Youngjae who was watching him with a shy gaze. Blinking hard, Youngjae’s eyes cast downward as he replied, “What is it?”

It somehow warmed Jaebeom’s heart to catch the younger giving him his own observant gaze.

“Just an iced black coffee for tomorrow morning. You may not have time to wake up early enough and buy one before we leave, so I thought of getting you one already.” Jaebeom took out the can of black coffee sweating off moisture from the outside and set it on the table in front of him.

He slid it over to Youngjae, watching his reaction. 

Youngjae set his own can of beer right next to the small yet thoughtful gift, a curl of his lips showing shyly as he whispered, “Thank you, hyung.” 

“So, about the fan meet —”

Jaebeom got cut off again, but this time by Youngjae bowing his head in regret. “I’m sorry, Jaebeom hyung. If it was— if I did something wrong today. I didn’t mean to be grumpy and ignore you for the rest of the meet.”

Youngjae’s voice filled with quivering despair, and it took everything in Jaebeom not to take the younger into his arms and not let him go. Instead, Jaebeom read the situation carefully and treaded slower than he’d usually do. 

He rested his hand on Youngjae’s knee, squeezing the skin wrapped in the same skinny jeans he has had on since this morning. Jaebeom let his hand rest away on Youngjae’s thigh, patting it with a gentle touch every so often. 

“This isn’t on you, Jae. I haven’t told you something important.”

“You’re not mad at me?” Youngjae looked up, his eyes said it all. Ignoring his previous statement, Youngjae was more adamant in finding out if Jaebeom really became upset with him.

The older gave him a reassuring smile, his heart trying to soar out of his chest and let Youngjae know that it’s alright. At least, Jaebeom was beginning to see that all he had to do was — as Jinyoung put it — talk to him.

Oh, the wonders of getting lost, and at the same time saved, in Youngjae’s presence. 

“I’m anything but mad at you. I was out of it during the meet because of something the staff said to me… about us,” Jaebeom started, feeling a loss for the right words now that him and Youngjae are staring right at each other. He stopped moving his hand against the younger’s skin, but Youngjae caught on as his hand captures the older’s, squeezing it lightly. 

“Did… they find… out?” Youngjae squeaked, his palm starting to sweat but Jaebeom only continued to hold onto it tighter. 

He needed a definite answer before anything else. 

“What is there to find out, Jae?” He asked, heart racing up in his throat and his forehead warming up at the tension in the room. Jaebeom was not one to lose control of a conversation so intense as this — that is why he mostly avoided confronting Youngjae about whatever it is they were supposed to see each other _as_ over the past couple of months. 

“I… I don’t…,” Youngjae hesitated between letting go of Jaebeom’s hand or desperately reaching out an answer through intertwined fingers. His nonexistent answer was constricted in his throat with his cheeks turning red in anticipation of their sudden confessions. 

Jaebeom knew Youngjae was scared — he knew he had always been scared from the one night they _accidentally_ made their lips touch at the dim of their room, and when Jaebeom continued kissing him with his hand finding the curve of his waist, Youngjae only managed to squirm and duck his head away from Jaebeom’s flushed expression. 

Just like before, Jaebeom just slowly brought their intertwined fingers up to his lips, softly kissing their knuckles together in a feathery touch. Youngjae felt mesmerized by the sight of Jaebeom innocently showing off such a pure and honest form of affection towards him after a day of receiving the bitter end of his attitude.

Just like before, Youngjae knew he wasn’t ready to definitely kiss Jaebeom back — not because he didn’t want to, but because he knew that if they continued, it wouldn’t stop. They wouldn’t be able to stop themselves.

It just wasn’t the right time. 

But Jaebeom was more than observant, and instead of turning his back against Youngjae that night, he only asked if he were comfortable to be in each other’s arms throughout the darkness. Youngjae didn’t need to say anything else as his body _desired_ Jaebeom, and he initiated being cooped up inside the older’s warm and steady hands. 

And when he thought he had heard quiet and stable snores from Jaebeom, Youngjae stretched his neck enough in order to purse his lips against the older’s own. He was only aiming for the cheek, but Jaebeom suddenly moved when Youngjae had his lips press against the skin. 

“I don’t want to hide this, hyung,” Youngjae finally admitted, leaning his head against their hands. “I know we haven’t really talked about _this_ a lot more seriously, but what I do know is that — I don’t want this to end.”

“Who says it’s ending?” 

Looking up, Youngjae with his doe-eyes quipped, “The staff? Won’t they find out eventually?” 

Jaebeom himself wondered about what others actually _knew._ He may have had more than one special moment with Youngjae on stage, during a live chat, or just their passing through gates of airport security — but that’s all their business, and frankly, Jaebeom knew as to how much skinship Youngjae was comfortable with in the first place. 

Maybe he was just paranoid. Maybe he just wanted to know himself if Youngjae thought something else about… what they were. 

“I didn’t know how to handle it after they told me. I was overthinking about what they knew or didn’t know. I think we’ll be fine if we continue being the way we are,” Jaebeom suggested, remembering that Jinyoung did tell him that he was going to help him in a way he didn’t have to worry about. 

“I’m sorry for burdening you about this, Jaebeom hyung,” Youngjae apologized, easing his hand out of Jaebeom’s grasp to run it across his face in exasperation. 

He never intended to have feelings for someone he admired and cherished as a friend at the same time. Hell, he never thought about feeling something more than appreciation for a person who identified the same as he did.

He was never disgusted by the thought, just a little surprised that he was experiencing such things in his own life. 

He couldn’t blame himself, nor Jaebeom. The older just did his job of taking care of him being that he was the youngest trainee out of them all. Jaebeom took it upon himself to be responsible for his training, Youngjae should have expected that they were going to be closer to one another the most.

But sharing one room in the dorm was just the topping on the already heaving anxiety he had accumulated throughout certain moments left alone with Jaebeom.

He tried to repress the heat his body rendered whenever Jaebeom would scoot a little closer to him at night — not because he didn’t _enjoy_ it, but he knew it would be a waste of time to catch feelings for someone who regarded him as his friend, his mentee, his group member. 

“You’re never, ever a burden on me, Jae. Please remember that,” Jaebeom chided gently.

“May I?” He added, bring his hand closer to Youngjae’s face but patient enough to wait for consent.

Without missing a beat, Youngjae found himself nodding nimbly at the older’s request, and Jaebeom’s fingers slowly trailed its way alongside the younger’s cheek. Youngjae fluttered his eyes close, memorizing the way that Jaebeom lingered the tips of his warm fingertips on his supple skin. It sent shivers down the hair of his arms, and Youngjae couldn’t help but sigh in content. 

“But I know we both understand how… complicated our situation is right now,” Jaebeom continued, his voice almost a far away whisper but also a reassuring comfort to Youngjae’s senses. The older’s hand stopped right atop of Youngjae’s thighs once more, and Jaebeom slowly moves his body a little bit closer towards Youngjae. 

Youngjae didn’t flinch, he let Jaebeom drown him in a scent he had missed back in their room. The strong and invigorating scent from Jaebeom’s clothes to the very surface of his skin. He missed being this close to him. 

“We can stay like this, right?” 

Jaebeom contemplated on the younger’s question for more than a beat. He didn’t want to further cause more anxiety from Youngjae, but he really needed to think about an answer that would both please their worries. 

“As long as we both want it, yeah.”

Jaebeom left Youngjae’s apartment at ten in the evening. He wanted to stay a little bit longer — he wanted to watch Youngjae’s chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm with Coco lying right beside him.

Jaebeom just wanted to sleep right next to the person he knew he felt so much more for — just like the old times, Youngjae wouldn’t have minded either. 

But they both knew what they needed to focus on currently, and the two of them were very well aware that the love they shared for each other needed to be kept private for a little while longer. And so, as a seal to the promise of staying the way they are, Jaebeom stole a quiet kiss on Youngjae’s lips before heading out to his own apartment to catch a few hours of sleep. 

The next day, they had been backstage for a music show performance — already had their makeup and outfit on by five in the morning.

Jaebeom excused himself to use the restroom, as per usual, wanting to get away from the camera filming them for even just a split second. 

He hadn’t seen Youngjae since he arrived since they were fixing up the other members in a separate room than him, Jinyoung, and Jackson. He hadn’t the time to text him either, so he wanted to use this short break in the privacy of a restroom to check up on Youngjae.

“Jaebeom hyung, good morning!” 

Ears filled with honeysuckle notes of a greeting, Jaebeom whipped his head to the sound of Youngjae’s early morning chuckle. “I thought I wouldn’t be able to see you until stage rehearsal.”

“I was just about to text you, how did you know I was here?” Jaebeom couldn’t hide his own smile. 

Youngjae shrugged, the grin on his face never wavering. “Just a hunch. I have that with you, you know.” 

“Oh yeah? Just like how you predicted I was going to your apartment last night?” 

“Yup, and also how I know you haven’t had anything to eat or drink this morning either.” Youngjae revealed something he had been hiding all this time behind his back. Curious, Jaebeom focused his eyes on the object Youngjae was holding and figured it was a small protein bar of his favorite kind. 

“Your stomach can be heard literally miles away. I think you should eat this before we go on, hyung,” Youngjae suggested, urging the snack into Jaebeom’s hand. He didn’t have a choice but to accept as he can feel the hunger eating away his insides, anyway. 

Jaebeom’s heart swelled. “Did you take the iced coffee with you?”

“Yup, I wasn’t late to call time today _and_ I don’t feel as dead as usual,” Youngjae joked, laughing at his own demise. Jaebeom tagged along, his eyes fawning over how happy Youngjae seemed to be today compared to their little misunderstand the night before. 

“You look good,” Jaebeom blurted out. 

“Not bad yourself, Jaebeom hyung,” Youngjae complimented back with a playful shove of the older’s shoulder. “Please, do eat. They need to finish up with my hair — I had to ask Jinyoung where to find you so I could give you your breakfast.”

“Thanks, Jae. This is really sweet of you,” Jaebeom said, the warm smile affecting Youngjae’s expression. Instead of leaving the room, Youngjae stepped a little bit closer towards Jaebeom, making the older raise his eyebrows in surprise. Youngjae chuckles, shying his gaze away from an already flustered Jaebeom, but he wouldn’t have fallen for him if it weren’t for his small quirks like so. 

Youngjae brought his lips towards Jaebeom’s parted ones, inching a little bit to the side as to give him a little encouraging kiss on the side. Jaebeom had caught on, bringing one hand to capture Youngjae’s neck and their lips melding into one another. Youngjae stopped breathing for a second until his shoulders relaxed, knowing that for the few moments they captured with their lips interlocked this way — it is only theirs to share with each other. 

Maybe Jinyoung had already done his part of “taking care of it,” because at this moment, Jaebeom only cared about one thing: and that was making Youngjae happy. 

It seemed to be working, anyway. 

**Author's Note:**

> it... was longer than i thought lmaooooo but this is just a lil sumn i really wanted to write in order to express how SOFT i felt after seeing so many jjp interactons after the DAESANG award :^) i guess these three are my top biases now, o well. did i mention got7 won a daesang this year of our lord savior jesus christ???? praise be
> 
> ps. pls god feed us more 2jae content  
> pps. have yall listened to reborn in their latest japanese album (i won't let you go)???? i'm. obsessed. basically 1:31am japanese version. god. 
> 
> aight, have a good day everyone!! n thank u sm for reading <3
> 
> (again it's like 3am after posting this, i rly need sleep.)


End file.
